"Where are you baby..."

I'm sorry I haven't blogged much lately. Life has been crazy this last week or so.

First there's work. Work is incredibly busy right now and probably will be for a long time.

Second there's 'Angel'. I've been looking after my friend as she was here for a while on holiday.

Third, I'm house hunting.

I keep finding little things to blog about but never have the time. Now - now I've forgotten all of them. But people have been hassling me to update my diary so I feel I should at least try, so here's a random picture.

I found this headline in the local paper.



"London Bomber Sold Me Crack Cocaine" - I'll make up the rest from now on...

"I could have understood him attacking someone, but not blowing people up with a bomb", said 23-year-old crack addict Paul Tanker. "He was just, ya know, some guy, like. I just knew him for the pipe and ting". Paul, a crack addict of some 5 years added, "It's always the people you least expect. I mean - he was just a crack dealer, ya know. He got me through some hard times. Times when money isn't enough and you have to do things, ya know, perform acts, ya know, make a man smile like only a woman can, ya know, suck hard on the pink pipe of pleasure, ya know, or 'Black Hawk Down', ya get me?". Paul had just enough time to toast the rocks once more and shout, "Ya fucker!" before vomiting and stealing my pen.

In other news...

"Trained dogs show off new tricks"

Little-Crappington was the scene for this year’s annual 'Woof and Ready' dog festival. Dogs of all shapes and sizes came to perform humiliating stunts to suitable repulsed onlookers. "It's just a bit of fun", said Harry Toppington of Bigger-Crappington, “And if the kids can learn something about the horrors of war – then it’s all been worth it”. Mr. Toppington had been preparing for the competition all year. "Oh, this is the big one", he added. "I've even made little costumes and everything". Mr. Toppington's two Shih Tzu’s 'Imelda' and 'Evanna' swooped first place with their passionate re-enactment of the Normandy Beach landings. “It’s my little way of bringing the boys home”, added the victorious owner.

Second place went to Wanda Batley's Alaskan Malamute, 'Darcy'. "Oh I don't know what I'd do without him", she told this reporter. "He's like my best friend. I like nothing better than rolling up beside him with a mug of hot coco and reading romantic novels in front of the fire together. He's my little man. You know sometimes I dress him up in my late husbands clothes. He’s always a proper gentleman". 'Darcy' performed various scenes from the Tom Cruise film 'Jerry Maguire' to sickend audience. etc etc etc.

And you wonder why I'm moving??

Nic.

posted by Nic @ 10:21 PM 1 comments