The female of the species is more deadly than the male...

[note - I wrote this post a few weeks ago... but never put it up...]

There’s another LA ‘first’ that I haven’t talked about yet. Partly cos it didn’t really go exactly as planned, partly cos I wanted to tell my girlfriend first before posting it here.

Many months ago Suanie and me were talking about strip clubs. She couldn’t believe I’d never been to one – but I hadn’t. Now – there are a lot of changes happening in my life, and I’ve decided to try and open myself up to different experiences, at least once in my life.

I decided back then that if I was going to go to a strip club – I may as well go to one in LA. So I did.

It was a Saturday night. I hadn’t really done anything on the evening while I’d been here. I was alone, awake, and finally convinced myself that I should just go.

'4 Play' is on Cotner Avenue between Pico and Olympic. About 5 minutes drive from my hotel. It’s not much to look at from the outside, but actually it’s a pretty inviting place. The bouncers don’t look too mean, the seating in comfortable, the music at a good volume, the people a good mix of single men, couples, groups, and lesbians. Basically – it didn’t feel sleazy.

There’s a $10 door fee and parking is $5.

So there I am. I sit far right of the stage, trying to hide away – not looking too eager. I order a sparking mineral water ($6.50) and then things start to go wrong, in the nicest possible way.

What I expected:

A totally impersonal experience. Buy a few drinks. See some strippers. Leave having accomplished what I set out to do.
What I got:

The drink arrives, I’m still semi-freaked out by even being in strip club. A girl approaches me. “Hi” – holds me hand. “Hi, I respond”. The girl is Asian, slim, tall in those crazy stripper shoes, pretty. We talk for a second – I ask her to sit. Looking around I see another single guy with a girl – she has a drink.

“Would you like a drink?”, “Okay – just a coke”. I ask her to sit.

“This is my first time ever in a strip club”, I tell her. Nerves got the better of me. “Really?? Awwww – I’ll look after you. I’ll show you around.”

We get talking. “What part of Asia are you from?”, I ask. “Thailand”, she responds. “Oh – my girlfriend is Thai”... and so the trap (intentional or not) is fully laid.

It’s not her fault. She’s working. But a combination of me missing my girlfriend like crazy, and her being Thai made it exactly what I didn’t want it to be. Personal.

“You can pretend I’m your girlfriend”.

We talked for a while. No idea how long. The bar wasn’t too busy at that time, so I guess she stayed longer than she normally would have. Honestly, she was a really nice girl – someone who if I’d met socially I would have got to know. Likes to read, play golf. Been in the US 4 years and still has broken English, which I always find charming.

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t ‘into’ this girl. Maybe if I was single – I would have been in real trouble, but this has been a fairly solitary trip. I’ve spent most of my time alone – which I don’t normally mind, but everyone likes a little company.

She wants to take me upstairs for a bed dance. $200. I must have sounded cheap. “That’s… more than I have on me”. I started to realise I was woefully under-funded with only $100 in my wallet going in. Naturally there is an ATM in the club. I resisted, and she showed me into back room.

I sat.

It’s $20 for a song. A song seems a second long in that back room. She danced for three. In the darkness of the room, I was home – with my girlfriend. Maybe she felt how much I missed her. Maybe there are a few basic stereotypes that come into strip clubs and I fitted one of them. I was being exploited, in the nicest possible way.

The three songs ended. I paid up. I was out of cash. I had to hit the ATM or the parking guys would hit me.

She held my hand. Walked me back to me seat. Sat for a second. Took a drink of coke. Then said goodbye and left to find a new client.

This is when I graduated from my strip club education. It had become personal. And now – she’s off to make more money. Honestly – it hurt. I was dazed for a few minutes until it all started to sink in what had happened.

I stayed for a while at the club. The stage show was basically the girls dancing for a song to drum up business. All the girls were attractive, but not really my type. A few came over and started talking – I declined dances. If I was going to have another dance it would only be with one person. I’m loyal to the end. Even with a stripper.

Around 11:30 I started to get tired. I’m still adjusting to LA time. I noticed she’d been hanging by the bar. She had changed clothes and in the dim light I hadn’t actually realised it was her. Primal needs kicked in, and she danced another three songs for me.

The whole evening had made me realise one thing. How much I love my girlfriend. And how much I need to be with her. I got back to my hotel room and lay on the bed, guilt stricken.

It wasn’t meant to be like that. It was meant to be detached. Some harmless fun. Now – I felt like I had cheated.

I tell my girlfriend everything – and I will tell her this (I’m writing this Monday morning with an intension to post when I’ve talked to her).

The reason I had never been in a strip club is this. I hate the exploitation of women. I know realise how wrong my perception of the whole scene is. I’m sure there are some real dive strip clubs that would appal me. This wasn’t one of them. It was a safe environment and the women were almost certainly in control.

Would I go again? No. It’s like doing drugs. An expensive and temporary high. The only time I would go is if I was with my partner. Never again alone.

I blame no one but myself for how I feel after this experience. The Thai girl was sweet to me and doing her job, and doing it well. Any negative consequences are purely down to me.

If you are looking for a strip club in LA, 4 Play seems like a good place to go. Not that I have been to any others, naturally. But I’m sure there are far, far worse places.

Nic.

posted by Nic @ 9:44 PM 2 comments