insert cheap pun about joysticks and 2 player action...

Those who know me know that I’m pretty PC when it comes to issues of gender exploitation. Don’t get me wrong – I have no issues with pornography (legal – consenting pornography), but I do kinda hate trashy flesh fests like FHM and those terrible phone in soft-core things we have over here as the cheap TV stations close down. (note: mainly because the girls are just so fucking stupid!!!)

So it was with guilty pleasure that I loaded up the demo of Konami’s ‘Rumble Rose’.



This game is out in the US – but it has yet to hit these shores.

Now – I gotta say I’m a little confused by it all. I have no problem with a bit of digital flesh (so long as the modellers and animators were consenting). I’m a ‘huge’ Dead Or Alive fan – and that includes the Beach Volley game.

My confusion reigned from having never played a wrestling game before. Something about sweaty men in bad clothes putting each other in compromising positions has never really been something I wanted to see – or play.

Slightly perspiring women in trashy clothes putting each other in compromising positions?? Hmmm... let’s have a look.



I chose the mud-wrestling mode first. You wanna know the saddest thing? I chose it because I wanted to see how they (technically) did the mud. Sigh.

So anyway, mud-wrestling. I got my ass kicked. But for some reason, I didn’t mind as I watched my kawaii nihon-jin character twisted and manipulated into Kama Sutraesque positions by a bikini-wearing cowboy.

Actually, I lost pretty quickly because I was too busy 'enjoying' my pinned position and was soon out for the count. Hmmmm...



Onto the main wrestling game. It’s the same thing, but my random button mashing managed to get me out of a few compromising situations and the ‘fight’ lasted a little longer.

And so the demo ended, and I ask myself – would I buy this??



Not sure. If it was cheap – yes. Fully price – nope. I’m still bewildered by the wrestling controls – and while I had the widest grin on my face while playing the demo – I’m just not sure 'my glow' would last an entire game.

So there you have it. Rumble Rose. Interactive (very) soft porn.

If they do a sequel - I hope they include a pillow fight mode, complete with particle system feathers (natch).

Nic.

posted by Nic @ 11:05 AM 0 comments